vacation. vacation. vacation.

Woohoo! The sem break has finally arrived! I cleaned out all the trash in my schoolbag today, filed away any articles that would be of use in the future, threw away pathetic test papers, kept some for scratch. My bag's all ready for the next sem. I'm all pumped up too, which is why sitting here without having to worry about anything feels a bit weird. It's funny though. I thought I had a whole week of lounging around before heading off to Bacolod for the UniGames, but no. I have to wake up everyday at 6:00 in the morning for training. Waaah. And here I was thinking I could finally get into the sleepyhead habit of snoozing for at least 10 hours a day. Oh well! It's all going to pay off in the end... or at least I hope it will! I'm already excited to go! I haven't packed anything yet though, but I have 5 more days to do that. (Five days nalang pala!)

I wonder if Terri's all done packing for the ExpoTour. Yesterday, all she had in her Samsonite were a few shirts and swimwear. She couldn't figure out what to bring, and she's a self-confessed overpacker. I think she was supposed to bring 12 tops for 5 days in Cebu and Bohol. *smiles* Terri talaga, ever the fashionista. :D They're all probably raring to go! I'd be excited too. Makes me wonder, if I weren't going to the UniGames, would my mom have allowed me to go on the ExpoTour as well? *laughs* Now that I think about it, she probably would... if she allowed me to go to the UniGames with the team, without any... tails. And to think I had my first shot (okay, half-shot) of tequila with the team at the UniGames last year! *laughs* But she doesn't know that. :p

I'm going shopping with my mom tonight! Yipee! :D I asked her last night if she wanted to go shopping today, she said that she needed the time to unwind, so yey! I wonder which mall we're going to. Has to fall somewhere in between, she's going off to buy at high-end places, I'm going for the budget stores! *laughs* Now that I think about it, I haven't had any time to really talk to anyone in the family. My brother's always off at our cousin's house playing the latest video games. My dad's always at the office, or at meetings, on business trips, or playing tennis at the club. My mom, ever since angkong's diagnosis, has been busy going around, doing much more than the usual office work. WIth my sister in Singapore, apparently not missing us very much (bleh), I've been busy having study groups at Cel or Terri's house, coming home just in time for dinner, then locking myself up in our study room with the computer on. Tsk tsk. This is not how a family should operate. It's right about time for some bonding. And there's no better thing to bond over than shopping when it comes to girls! :D Can't wait.

rearing its ugly head.

Tamad-itis is settling in again.

Aaah! After 3 hours of reading my Theology handouts I want to call it a night. But, I still have to get something to read from the library tomorrow. Noooo. And I have to be in school before 10 to show my exam permit to a Ms. Mendoza (?) in the Finance and Accounting Department. I had another one of those duh moments earlier when I asked Sir Darwin where the department was. He looked at me with this look on his face that I swore wrote out, "Are you stupid?" Top floor at the SOM. *slaps forehead and laughs* Duh, oo nga naman. I just kept thinking about all the other departments being at De La Costa or Soc Sci. I kept trying to remember the layout of those buildings and just couldn't seem to put the words "Finance and Accounting" up there with the plaques labeled "Kagawaran ng Pilosopiya" and "Department of Modern Languages". Well, now I know why. *laughs*

Anyway, since I have an hour and a half to burn tomorrow before our Theo test, I shall switch on to "nerd mode" and imprison myself in the library with the rest of my handouts. And then I'll pray to God that He won't forsake me tomorrow. I need this test. I need every test, especially knowing that my 20-point ratio analysis on our Accounting test today was a screw-up. I've got to make up for it somewhere else. I sure can't rely on the Math Finals on Friday, so I guess it all comes down to those 2 hours in Escaler Hall tomorrow. *crosses fingers*

Oh, by the way, I really need to work on my recitation marks. I got another one of those 2.2/10-like grades. I got a 1/5 for Accounting class. Hurrah. (I'm being sarcastic.) I think, next semester, someone has to pull my hand up for me, so I'll be forced to recite! Still, I think it's unfair, considering I'm always present for class and it's not like I kept mum the whole time. I deserve a 2! *laughs* Right, big difference. *sticks tongue out*

Yipes! It's 11 already? Okay, my mind just switched from "wide awake" to "zombie" mode. I think it's time for me to hit the sack. Darn exam permit. (Oh well, it was my fault.) Now I won't get my 10 hours of sleep! I can't wait for the sem break! It's so near yet so faaaar. *reaches out desperately*

38 more hours to go and it's all over! Let's go Layds! (Great, now I've resorted to talking to myself.)

getting ready for the test.

Lazy. That's what I am. Procrastinator. Crammer. Whiner.

I can get so whiny about school. But I guess I should spare other people and quit whining on and on about how I messed up. It's not helping anyone anyway. I just can't get this feeling of regret out of my system. I keep thinking I could have done something more, done something differently. Makes me want to "redeem" myself even more once we get settled into the next semester.

For now, I'll have to concentrate on studying for our last Accounting 20 test tomorrow. But what the heck am I doing? I'm typing here while everyone else around me is studying for one test or another. I don't know. I just can't bring myself to study. Especially when I keep thinking about the piano here in Cel's house. I keep wanting to do something else, keep finding myself closing my book and just watching Terri, Cel and Aileen reading their Theo books. Still, right now, I think I want to do something more than play with the piano in the living room. I can smell the spaghetti! It's chow time!

red ants.

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning today, unusually early for someone like me, especially since classes didn't start until 9:30. At 6:45 in the morning, I was already running around the Ateneo tennis courts, getting all sweaty and tired. I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast and made sure to finish it before I started hitting balls. Why? Because the day before, I left my sandwich on top of my bag. When I went back to grab my towel, I freaked. I started pounding my bag with my tennis racket because these red ants were infesting it! *laughs* Boo. They took away my other peanut butter sandwich from me. Hmph. So now I've learned. Never give them any food to trace. Eat it all up before they get the chance to breathe a whiff!

spilled milk, pizza and marzipans.

There are six thesis statements I have to study for my SCI 10 Orals on Friday. I got a measly C+ mark, and to think I was hoping for a B+. Needless to say, I was completely let down. A beautiful letdown. Painfully uncool. The church of the drop outs, the losers, the sinners, the failures and the fools. (The Beautiful Letdown- Switchfoot) I feel so stupid. I don’t understand how the first semester of first year college could have been so easy. And now, I’m struggling to keep my grades afloat while everyone else seems to be breezing along. (Think Terri and Nati.) It must be my fault, too. It’s my fault that I don’t recite. (O.2! *laughs*) It’s my fault that I don’t grab my Math notebook and start reviewing whenever I have free time. It’s my fault that I didn’t memorize the five discourses in Matthew when I was studying for my Theology test at 3 in the morning. Nasa huli lagi ang pagsisisi. I just don’t seem to learn. I have two weeks to reverse or at least reduce the damage of 4 months of slacking off. Hay ya yay. C’est ne pas possible!

Next semester, I’m going to be a nerd. Mark my words! Layds = Nerd na ‘to!

Now that I’ve wasted away another chance at the Dean’s List, there’s no use crying over spilled milk. It’s time to move on. It’s time to salvage what I can. It’s time to put my energy into this exegesis, fill it with all the words my vocabulary can muster, flabbergast Fr. Flores with the depth by which we have analyzed 10 sentences, and elongated an analysis which could have filled only 2 pages, into 10 pages of flowery words and astonishing insights. In other words, pure bola. Whoopee.

Of course, every day has its ups and downs. And after that depressing SCI 10 class, ACC 20 was happy-happy-joy-joy! Well, I didn’t understand anything about the cash flow statement, I was spacing out (as usual). But, I was happy with the mark I got for our last long test. So, I guess that offsets my disappointment somewhat. All in all, today still leans toward the bitter side of the how’s-your-day? meter but the afternoon was all good.

Three slices of #4 Cheese pizza. Yum. I'm still not hungry for dinner, although my status in YM has been "dinner" for almost a half hour now. *laughs* Liar. Well, I'm not the only one! :D There are faker Busy people, two-hour baths, Do not disturb (only a select few who message are actually considered disturbing) people, and the offline, but apparently only lurking invisibles!

Ooh! I just rememberd, we have these Pampangan delicacies called cashew Marzipans in the fridge! They're soOoOoOo good! I want to eat the rest of them up, but then, I keep thinking, "When are we going to get another chance to eat these?" I have to hold out and control myself. #1 Because there are only 8 left and I want to enjoy them for as long as I can. #2 Because I don't want to gain another 8 pounds so soon. #3 Because abs, and not upper and lower bilbils is the goal! *laughs* Let's just hope my mom doesn't eat it all up in one sitting later. *crosses fingers*

september.

Okay, I just erased the first few lines I typed in because my mom walked in and said I sounded like my immature, grade-school self, always in between the backstabbing and fights. So, I decided to just shut up about that and talk about something cheery instead.

In an hour and 30 minutes it's going to be Terri's birthday! Add another 19-year old to the group. By tomorrow, Cel and I will be the only "young" ones left! *smiles* Once September comes rolling around, three things are bound to happen. 1: Everyone (i.e. Nati, Jill and Terri) starts getting depressed about being "old". 2: My wallet starts its annual deflation and takes on thin-crust pizza thickness by the end of Christmas, the space occupied by wads of receipts. 3: My stomach starts ballooning, with no monthly reductions.

Oh no. It seems like September isn't such a good month for me! *laughs*

gearing up.

Next week is going to be one hell of a hell week. What with the Accounting and Theology tests, plus the deadline of the Accounting project, plus those nerve-wracking French orals! Aaaaah! I can't take it! The thoughts of sleepless nights, last-minute study groups and right-before-the-test jitters are enough to make me want to cry. "Can I cry?"

And yet, what am I doing here? I should start studying for something, anything. But what? Theo? I don't even know the coverage of the test. Accounting? I can't quite do that on my own. French? *shivers* (Nginig? :p ) After that disappointing dialogue blackout earlier this morning, I don't think I want to deal with my newfound language just yet. Uh-uh. *shakes head*

I am never going to get used to talking in front of a crowd, exactly the reason why I tend not to recite in class. I can count the number of times I've (voluntarily) recited in all of my classes since I started college with just my fingers and toes. That's how bad my recitation record is. Back in high school, whenever the teacher announces a role-play activity, I cringe and think, "If only I had the theatrical abilities of Karla and Tin." then I proceed to mumble a few lines, unconvincingly. Tsk tsk. I have no future in showbiz! *laughs* Of course, I knew that way back when I couldn't keep a straight face whenever my brother and I would try playing jokes on my sister. Still, I must be getting better. I must be if RJ fell for the improvised "Victim" stunt we pulled a few weeks ago. *laughs* Still, there's someone else we have to "victimize" next time.

hermes, the messenger.

Whenever I have pent-up feelings, I grab ahold of a pen and start writing my worries and jitters away. Whenever I feel unusually ecstatic, I write down my day's blow-by-blow, just so I could have something happy to look back on months, maybe years from now. But when writing involves bringing news that's not exactly of the Gospel (good news) kind, I can't bring myself to go past a few paragraphs. Scribbling down each word seems like such a chore. I start out strong, but I keep slowing down until I finally stop altogether, a zillion questions still buzzing around in my head. "Is this wrong? Maybe I should say it in a different way."

They usually shoot the messenger. Maybe they should go ahead and shoot the writer first. Spare him the agony of writing the message altogether.

doors and tricks.

Cheese raclette. Cel had this Teflon-coated tray thing to melt the cheese on before serving. A neat-looking black and blue contraption of sorts. We had authentic Swiss cuisine complete with almost-sweet baby onions, tiny baked potatoes and bacon bits. No doubt, the most fascinating thing about Cel's house is not the giant white Japanese lantern hanging from the ceiling above the living room, nor the pink infused acrylic painting-slash-sliding-door to the bathroom, it's the food. I have no idea where they get all these burgis goodies from. Not that I'm complaining. :D That cheese was good.

Speaking of doors to bathrooms, I got stuck in Cel's bathroom! I must have spent 5 minutes turning the lock over and over, to the left, to the right, pushing down on the lever, pushing on the door, nothing seemed to work. The other connecting door to the other room seemed easier to open, but I heard the television blaring from the other side. I was sure that wasn't Cel, but one of her sisters watching a show. I didn't want to go out from that side, making it obvious that I couldn't get out the other way. *sheepish grin* So I stubbornly tried to open the door to Cel's room. Finally, I gave up and sent Cel a text message: Cel, I'm stuck inside your bathroom! wahahaha! I instantly heard laughter from downstairs, and someone clambering up the stairs. I'm apparently victim # 4! The secret to opening the door is not pushing on it with all your might, or mentally willing the door to budge; you have to pull it first! Now, I know.

Thank goodness we don't have tricky bathroom doorknobs like those in our house. Still, I find it amusing whenever someone has to leave and they can't open our front door. *hehe* Most of the time, I volunteer the "secret trick" even before they grab ahold of the knob. Sometimes, I just watch and see if they'd get it right. Some people, no matter how many times they come to our house, never seem to remember "what's wrong" with our door. The others exclaim, "This is the unconventional doorknob!" before reaching for the doorknob and end up opening the door in one try. Bravo! *laughs* The next time I use Cel's bathroom, I have to be able to open it in one swift movement, too.

running off to training.

Whee. I'm still in my pajamas, I haven't eaten breakfast or lunch or brunch, and I have to be at training in an hour. All this + 30 minutes travel time = I'm going to be late! Not that that's anything out of the ordinary. *smiles* I forgot to bring home the balls last night, so I'll have to pass by the covered courts to pick them up before heading on over to LTO for another fun-filled afternoon of toasting under the sun! Whoopee. The thing is, I don't even know if the balls are still going to be there later, or if someone fancied bringing home 70 bright slightly deflated tennis balls. I'll get to leave practice earlier though, We're having a study group at Cel's house! Yey! Fooooood. Cel was tempting me last night with all the great food Manang was cooking for today. Screw the diet (or semi-diet). It's pig-out time!

Oh, and I went on the weighing scale again, and the 4 kg gain must have been a fluke. Instead of 9-10 lbs., I gained just 6-7! That's not too bad. Maybe I shouldn't get on that "diet" like I was supposed to. Why torture myself by resisting all the yummy Chocolate Peanut ice cream in the freezer? Or all those chocolate Mozart balls my dad brought back from Europe? Makes me wonder how Nati could have survived without eating ice cream for 2 whole months (that is, before Marts got her to eat yesterday). Heck, how could Carlo have survived not eating chocolate for 2 whole years? Now that's what I call self-control. I don't think I can manage that. I could go a lifetime without, say, ampalaya though! *laughs*