hello china.

This is probably the first time in months that I've been home from school way before the sun got the chance to even think about setting. Is that a good thing? Probably is, but I'm getting bored sitting here while my brother's snoring away. It's the last day of classes before the christmas break, and there's still so much to think and worry about. From the Filipino play we have to watch, to the paper we have to write about it, to the books we have to read, to that long test waiting for us as soon as we get back, the so-called break is not at all a break. It's going to feel like a long weekend crammed with all the homework the teachers could muster (or at least the cold-hearted ones who just really want to make us students miserable during Christmas.)

The good news is, we're going to China! They say the shopping's great there, plus it's gonna be cold so I'll get to use all the cool jackets my sister brought home from Singapore. *claps hands in glee* Maybe I can get my Christmas shopping done there instead and be the New Year Santa Claus! And I can add a few more places on my "Places I've Been To" list. *smiles* We're leaving on Christmas Eve so I don't really know when I'll be able to do my homework. I don't even know what day we're coming back! Anyway, school is not really my main concern now that the christmas vacation's started. I've got only one thing in mind. Fun!

after the storm.

After 3 grueling hours in Escaler Hall, I emerged... I would like to say victorious, but sadly, I walked out the doors with head bowed, frozen fingers still stunned, confused with writing down numbers and words that made absolutely no sense. Screw that accounting test. Answering the sample test was so darn easy, it was a walk through the park! But that test Sir Darwin gave us tonight just made me want to pull my hair out. I probably spent a whole hour just turning the pages of the test over and over, trying to figure out where I could salvage a few more points. I could probably get a few points off neatness, but, things still aren't looking too good. Tsk tsk. And there I was, chilling at Terri's house with my false sense of security. The confidence swiftly seeped out of me the moment I saw Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer on the test paper. Goodbye to any chance of getting a decent grade. Phooey.

Anyway...*pushes the possibility of an F out of mind* I'm really sleepy now, but I don't want to call it a night just yet. I'm not writing anything down though. Wala lang. Sige na nga, I'll leave it at this. The last day of reckoning- tomorrow. And from there, helloo vacation! I can't wait!

christmas shopping.

Number of people on my christmas list: 35

Number of gifts actually bought: 2

Number of days left for shopping: 16

Oh noooooooo! (Number of O's: 8)

It looks like I won't be carrying around huge paper bags full of gifts this Christmas season. And to think I used to live for Christmas shopping. I loved doling out cash and buying all sorts of stuff I think my friends would like. This year though, it's either I'm not into the Christmas spirit yet, or I just don't have the time. Yeah, right.

super bowl of china.

I had lunch with my dad and my uncle today at the Super Bowl of China, Megastrip. It's probably the first time my dad ever invited me to have lunch with him on his office break. It's almost always my mom. But since she's in Singapore shopping her heart out, I guess my dad took it upon himself to play both roles, which explains for the paranoid "be at home by 10:30" text message I got last night. I laughed when Nati described me as Cinderella, having to be home by a certain time. Sometimes I get to thinking that Cinderella's even luckier. She gets to go home by midnight. I can count the number of times I've been out that late with one hand. Still, I do get sleepy before midnight, so it's just as well! *smiles*

As I was saying, I had lunch with my dad and uncle Joseph. That uncle of mine happens to be a Management Engineering graduate, so he asked me how I was doing in school, knowing that I was sort of "following his footsteps". Trying to erase last semester's 2.9 from my mind, I smiled and said "Okay." He recounts his M.E. experience saying that, like my dad, he had to retake his English courses during summer... but he got straight A's in math. Yes, he was exempted from taking the final exams for both Math 21 and Math 22. Wow. Never quite realized what a math whiz he was. Are the low English marks and startling Math grades supposed to run in the family? because I don't think I quite fit in. Here I am, barely getting along with C+'s for both those math courses. I'm sure glad he didn't ask me what grades I got! I would have cowered and hidden under the table. *whew*

Speaking of grades, I think I better go back to reading my accounting book. Who knows? Sir Darwin might fancy surprising us with a quiz tomorrow. Now we wouldn't want to be caught like a deer in blinding headlights now, would we?

distractions.

I haven't been writing here much since the second semester of classes started. I guess I just never got the time to really sit down and type away. Or maybe I was just too busy trying to study, trying to read Memoirs of a Geisha or those handouts on Activity Based Costing, basically trying to make good use of my time. Operative word: trying. There's always that blank screen tempting me into pressing the red button on the remote and making images burst out of the blackness. Last night it was the second installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Two Towers. Today, it was Vin Diesel and Triple X! Of course, there was also that weird giant electric eel movie my dad and I caught before dinnertime showing on HBO yesterday. Weird as it was, we watched it until the end before we both went, "Huh?" *laughs*

Whoops. Looks like this entry is going to be a bit short. I have to go. Ta-ta!

the wrong way.

What do you do when your eyelids are as heavy as Acme anvils , the sponge we call the brain is well beyond its capacity to absorb information and you still have roughly 50 pages to read for History, Sociology and FIlipino class? Ask me a month ago and I would have said sleep, but that was back when I gave in to my sleepyhead tendencies all the time. Now, all I have is this urgent drive not to. Still, what can you do when staying up means wasting time and not getting the job done? I better start reading handouts during my 1-hour breaks between classes. This is not going to get me anywhere near my cherished dream. Reading this late means lower memory retention, agonizing hours of battling sleepiness made worthless by waking up tomorrow with a clean slate for a brain. It's as if I never even read anything. Hay ya yay. This is bad. Really bad. I need to get ahold of another study strategy. And fast. I'm starting to resemble a racoon.

getting back on track.

Let's see. I attempted to shoot more times than my fingers and toes can count. And how many of those shots actually heard the swish of the net? One. Yes, one. The shaaaame. Here was Rickett, telling me to step up and shoot, and all I could manage was a pathetic bounce-around-the-ring-before-going-in-the-basket shot. Next time, I'd like to have a better shooting percentage naman. Oh well. All I can say is... Ang galing ni Jill! *laughs* Without her shooting, we would have lost. In our hearts, Jill still shot 2 three-pointers, not just one! :D What would have happened without the last 3-pointer she made? We would probably have gotten into overtime, and the game could have gone either way from there. Eeep. Thank goodness for Jill! *laughs*

Oh! Cel got me this binder as a pasalubong from Hongkong and I can't wait to use it and put all our handouts for History and Sociology in it! I can't even believe that I've started reading our assignment in SA 21 today, on the first day of classes! I'm a bit excited to get into nerd mode, aren't I? Let's just say I really really really want to make up for my first semester performance. It's time to move on and kick serious butt! *laughs*

vacation. vacation. vacation.

Woohoo! The sem break has finally arrived! I cleaned out all the trash in my schoolbag today, filed away any articles that would be of use in the future, threw away pathetic test papers, kept some for scratch. My bag's all ready for the next sem. I'm all pumped up too, which is why sitting here without having to worry about anything feels a bit weird. It's funny though. I thought I had a whole week of lounging around before heading off to Bacolod for the UniGames, but no. I have to wake up everyday at 6:00 in the morning for training. Waaah. And here I was thinking I could finally get into the sleepyhead habit of snoozing for at least 10 hours a day. Oh well! It's all going to pay off in the end... or at least I hope it will! I'm already excited to go! I haven't packed anything yet though, but I have 5 more days to do that. (Five days nalang pala!)

I wonder if Terri's all done packing for the ExpoTour. Yesterday, all she had in her Samsonite were a few shirts and swimwear. She couldn't figure out what to bring, and she's a self-confessed overpacker. I think she was supposed to bring 12 tops for 5 days in Cebu and Bohol. *smiles* Terri talaga, ever the fashionista. :D They're all probably raring to go! I'd be excited too. Makes me wonder, if I weren't going to the UniGames, would my mom have allowed me to go on the ExpoTour as well? *laughs* Now that I think about it, she probably would... if she allowed me to go to the UniGames with the team, without any... tails. And to think I had my first shot (okay, half-shot) of tequila with the team at the UniGames last year! *laughs* But she doesn't know that. :p

I'm going shopping with my mom tonight! Yipee! :D I asked her last night if she wanted to go shopping today, she said that she needed the time to unwind, so yey! I wonder which mall we're going to. Has to fall somewhere in between, she's going off to buy at high-end places, I'm going for the budget stores! *laughs* Now that I think about it, I haven't had any time to really talk to anyone in the family. My brother's always off at our cousin's house playing the latest video games. My dad's always at the office, or at meetings, on business trips, or playing tennis at the club. My mom, ever since angkong's diagnosis, has been busy going around, doing much more than the usual office work. WIth my sister in Singapore, apparently not missing us very much (bleh), I've been busy having study groups at Cel or Terri's house, coming home just in time for dinner, then locking myself up in our study room with the computer on. Tsk tsk. This is not how a family should operate. It's right about time for some bonding. And there's no better thing to bond over than shopping when it comes to girls! :D Can't wait.

rearing its ugly head.

Tamad-itis is settling in again.

Aaah! After 3 hours of reading my Theology handouts I want to call it a night. But, I still have to get something to read from the library tomorrow. Noooo. And I have to be in school before 10 to show my exam permit to a Ms. Mendoza (?) in the Finance and Accounting Department. I had another one of those duh moments earlier when I asked Sir Darwin where the department was. He looked at me with this look on his face that I swore wrote out, "Are you stupid?" Top floor at the SOM. *slaps forehead and laughs* Duh, oo nga naman. I just kept thinking about all the other departments being at De La Costa or Soc Sci. I kept trying to remember the layout of those buildings and just couldn't seem to put the words "Finance and Accounting" up there with the plaques labeled "Kagawaran ng Pilosopiya" and "Department of Modern Languages". Well, now I know why. *laughs*

Anyway, since I have an hour and a half to burn tomorrow before our Theo test, I shall switch on to "nerd mode" and imprison myself in the library with the rest of my handouts. And then I'll pray to God that He won't forsake me tomorrow. I need this test. I need every test, especially knowing that my 20-point ratio analysis on our Accounting test today was a screw-up. I've got to make up for it somewhere else. I sure can't rely on the Math Finals on Friday, so I guess it all comes down to those 2 hours in Escaler Hall tomorrow. *crosses fingers*

Oh, by the way, I really need to work on my recitation marks. I got another one of those 2.2/10-like grades. I got a 1/5 for Accounting class. Hurrah. (I'm being sarcastic.) I think, next semester, someone has to pull my hand up for me, so I'll be forced to recite! Still, I think it's unfair, considering I'm always present for class and it's not like I kept mum the whole time. I deserve a 2! *laughs* Right, big difference. *sticks tongue out*

Yipes! It's 11 already? Okay, my mind just switched from "wide awake" to "zombie" mode. I think it's time for me to hit the sack. Darn exam permit. (Oh well, it was my fault.) Now I won't get my 10 hours of sleep! I can't wait for the sem break! It's so near yet so faaaar. *reaches out desperately*

38 more hours to go and it's all over! Let's go Layds! (Great, now I've resorted to talking to myself.)

getting ready for the test.

Lazy. That's what I am. Procrastinator. Crammer. Whiner.

I can get so whiny about school. But I guess I should spare other people and quit whining on and on about how I messed up. It's not helping anyone anyway. I just can't get this feeling of regret out of my system. I keep thinking I could have done something more, done something differently. Makes me want to "redeem" myself even more once we get settled into the next semester.

For now, I'll have to concentrate on studying for our last Accounting 20 test tomorrow. But what the heck am I doing? I'm typing here while everyone else around me is studying for one test or another. I don't know. I just can't bring myself to study. Especially when I keep thinking about the piano here in Cel's house. I keep wanting to do something else, keep finding myself closing my book and just watching Terri, Cel and Aileen reading their Theo books. Still, right now, I think I want to do something more than play with the piano in the living room. I can smell the spaghetti! It's chow time!

red ants.

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning today, unusually early for someone like me, especially since classes didn't start until 9:30. At 6:45 in the morning, I was already running around the Ateneo tennis courts, getting all sweaty and tired. I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast and made sure to finish it before I started hitting balls. Why? Because the day before, I left my sandwich on top of my bag. When I went back to grab my towel, I freaked. I started pounding my bag with my tennis racket because these red ants were infesting it! *laughs* Boo. They took away my other peanut butter sandwich from me. Hmph. So now I've learned. Never give them any food to trace. Eat it all up before they get the chance to breathe a whiff!

spilled milk, pizza and marzipans.

There are six thesis statements I have to study for my SCI 10 Orals on Friday. I got a measly C+ mark, and to think I was hoping for a B+. Needless to say, I was completely let down. A beautiful letdown. Painfully uncool. The church of the drop outs, the losers, the sinners, the failures and the fools. (The Beautiful Letdown- Switchfoot) I feel so stupid. I don’t understand how the first semester of first year college could have been so easy. And now, I’m struggling to keep my grades afloat while everyone else seems to be breezing along. (Think Terri and Nati.) It must be my fault, too. It’s my fault that I don’t recite. (O.2! *laughs*) It’s my fault that I don’t grab my Math notebook and start reviewing whenever I have free time. It’s my fault that I didn’t memorize the five discourses in Matthew when I was studying for my Theology test at 3 in the morning. Nasa huli lagi ang pagsisisi. I just don’t seem to learn. I have two weeks to reverse or at least reduce the damage of 4 months of slacking off. Hay ya yay. C’est ne pas possible!

Next semester, I’m going to be a nerd. Mark my words! Layds = Nerd na ‘to!

Now that I’ve wasted away another chance at the Dean’s List, there’s no use crying over spilled milk. It’s time to move on. It’s time to salvage what I can. It’s time to put my energy into this exegesis, fill it with all the words my vocabulary can muster, flabbergast Fr. Flores with the depth by which we have analyzed 10 sentences, and elongated an analysis which could have filled only 2 pages, into 10 pages of flowery words and astonishing insights. In other words, pure bola. Whoopee.

Of course, every day has its ups and downs. And after that depressing SCI 10 class, ACC 20 was happy-happy-joy-joy! Well, I didn’t understand anything about the cash flow statement, I was spacing out (as usual). But, I was happy with the mark I got for our last long test. So, I guess that offsets my disappointment somewhat. All in all, today still leans toward the bitter side of the how’s-your-day? meter but the afternoon was all good.

Three slices of #4 Cheese pizza. Yum. I'm still not hungry for dinner, although my status in YM has been "dinner" for almost a half hour now. *laughs* Liar. Well, I'm not the only one! :D There are faker Busy people, two-hour baths, Do not disturb (only a select few who message are actually considered disturbing) people, and the offline, but apparently only lurking invisibles!

Ooh! I just rememberd, we have these Pampangan delicacies called cashew Marzipans in the fridge! They're soOoOoOo good! I want to eat the rest of them up, but then, I keep thinking, "When are we going to get another chance to eat these?" I have to hold out and control myself. #1 Because there are only 8 left and I want to enjoy them for as long as I can. #2 Because I don't want to gain another 8 pounds so soon. #3 Because abs, and not upper and lower bilbils is the goal! *laughs* Let's just hope my mom doesn't eat it all up in one sitting later. *crosses fingers*

september.

Okay, I just erased the first few lines I typed in because my mom walked in and said I sounded like my immature, grade-school self, always in between the backstabbing and fights. So, I decided to just shut up about that and talk about something cheery instead.

In an hour and 30 minutes it's going to be Terri's birthday! Add another 19-year old to the group. By tomorrow, Cel and I will be the only "young" ones left! *smiles* Once September comes rolling around, three things are bound to happen. 1: Everyone (i.e. Nati, Jill and Terri) starts getting depressed about being "old". 2: My wallet starts its annual deflation and takes on thin-crust pizza thickness by the end of Christmas, the space occupied by wads of receipts. 3: My stomach starts ballooning, with no monthly reductions.

Oh no. It seems like September isn't such a good month for me! *laughs*

gearing up.

Next week is going to be one hell of a hell week. What with the Accounting and Theology tests, plus the deadline of the Accounting project, plus those nerve-wracking French orals! Aaaaah! I can't take it! The thoughts of sleepless nights, last-minute study groups and right-before-the-test jitters are enough to make me want to cry. "Can I cry?"

And yet, what am I doing here? I should start studying for something, anything. But what? Theo? I don't even know the coverage of the test. Accounting? I can't quite do that on my own. French? *shivers* (Nginig? :p ) After that disappointing dialogue blackout earlier this morning, I don't think I want to deal with my newfound language just yet. Uh-uh. *shakes head*

I am never going to get used to talking in front of a crowd, exactly the reason why I tend not to recite in class. I can count the number of times I've (voluntarily) recited in all of my classes since I started college with just my fingers and toes. That's how bad my recitation record is. Back in high school, whenever the teacher announces a role-play activity, I cringe and think, "If only I had the theatrical abilities of Karla and Tin." then I proceed to mumble a few lines, unconvincingly. Tsk tsk. I have no future in showbiz! *laughs* Of course, I knew that way back when I couldn't keep a straight face whenever my brother and I would try playing jokes on my sister. Still, I must be getting better. I must be if RJ fell for the improvised "Victim" stunt we pulled a few weeks ago. *laughs* Still, there's someone else we have to "victimize" next time.

hermes, the messenger.

Whenever I have pent-up feelings, I grab ahold of a pen and start writing my worries and jitters away. Whenever I feel unusually ecstatic, I write down my day's blow-by-blow, just so I could have something happy to look back on months, maybe years from now. But when writing involves bringing news that's not exactly of the Gospel (good news) kind, I can't bring myself to go past a few paragraphs. Scribbling down each word seems like such a chore. I start out strong, but I keep slowing down until I finally stop altogether, a zillion questions still buzzing around in my head. "Is this wrong? Maybe I should say it in a different way."

They usually shoot the messenger. Maybe they should go ahead and shoot the writer first. Spare him the agony of writing the message altogether.

doors and tricks.

Cheese raclette. Cel had this Teflon-coated tray thing to melt the cheese on before serving. A neat-looking black and blue contraption of sorts. We had authentic Swiss cuisine complete with almost-sweet baby onions, tiny baked potatoes and bacon bits. No doubt, the most fascinating thing about Cel's house is not the giant white Japanese lantern hanging from the ceiling above the living room, nor the pink infused acrylic painting-slash-sliding-door to the bathroom, it's the food. I have no idea where they get all these burgis goodies from. Not that I'm complaining. :D That cheese was good.

Speaking of doors to bathrooms, I got stuck in Cel's bathroom! I must have spent 5 minutes turning the lock over and over, to the left, to the right, pushing down on the lever, pushing on the door, nothing seemed to work. The other connecting door to the other room seemed easier to open, but I heard the television blaring from the other side. I was sure that wasn't Cel, but one of her sisters watching a show. I didn't want to go out from that side, making it obvious that I couldn't get out the other way. *sheepish grin* So I stubbornly tried to open the door to Cel's room. Finally, I gave up and sent Cel a text message: Cel, I'm stuck inside your bathroom! wahahaha! I instantly heard laughter from downstairs, and someone clambering up the stairs. I'm apparently victim # 4! The secret to opening the door is not pushing on it with all your might, or mentally willing the door to budge; you have to pull it first! Now, I know.

Thank goodness we don't have tricky bathroom doorknobs like those in our house. Still, I find it amusing whenever someone has to leave and they can't open our front door. *hehe* Most of the time, I volunteer the "secret trick" even before they grab ahold of the knob. Sometimes, I just watch and see if they'd get it right. Some people, no matter how many times they come to our house, never seem to remember "what's wrong" with our door. The others exclaim, "This is the unconventional doorknob!" before reaching for the doorknob and end up opening the door in one try. Bravo! *laughs* The next time I use Cel's bathroom, I have to be able to open it in one swift movement, too.

running off to training.

Whee. I'm still in my pajamas, I haven't eaten breakfast or lunch or brunch, and I have to be at training in an hour. All this + 30 minutes travel time = I'm going to be late! Not that that's anything out of the ordinary. *smiles* I forgot to bring home the balls last night, so I'll have to pass by the covered courts to pick them up before heading on over to LTO for another fun-filled afternoon of toasting under the sun! Whoopee. The thing is, I don't even know if the balls are still going to be there later, or if someone fancied bringing home 70 bright slightly deflated tennis balls. I'll get to leave practice earlier though, We're having a study group at Cel's house! Yey! Fooooood. Cel was tempting me last night with all the great food Manang was cooking for today. Screw the diet (or semi-diet). It's pig-out time!

Oh, and I went on the weighing scale again, and the 4 kg gain must have been a fluke. Instead of 9-10 lbs., I gained just 6-7! That's not too bad. Maybe I shouldn't get on that "diet" like I was supposed to. Why torture myself by resisting all the yummy Chocolate Peanut ice cream in the freezer? Or all those chocolate Mozart balls my dad brought back from Europe? Makes me wonder how Nati could have survived without eating ice cream for 2 whole months (that is, before Marts got her to eat yesterday). Heck, how could Carlo have survived not eating chocolate for 2 whole years? Now that's what I call self-control. I don't think I can manage that. I could go a lifetime without, say, ampalaya though! *laughs*

oh happy day.

I was blocked by Alyana three times.

The funny thing was, each time she blocked me, the words that escaped my mouth were "Wow." "Nice!" or "Tangkad!", not exactly frustrated-after-being-blocked material. So lean, so tall, so fast! I had a hard time keeping track of where she was going, but I had to stick to her like glue. That's what Teolo and Rickett told me. Each time I had to contend with her for the rebound the same thought kept going through my head, "It's not in the height, it's in the jump!" *laughs* Rickett said it should have been, "It's not in the height, it's in the heart!" Whoops.

My version seemed to work though. Normally, I never get any rebounds. Today, the ball seemed to gravitate towards me, all I had to do was jump up and grab it! It was odd. The ball never used to come my way. I'd position myself to the right and the ball would bounce to the left. I'd position myself to the left and the ball would deflect to the right. But today, all I had to do was stand somewhere, anywhere, and I could more or less, touch the ball, swat it away, or whatever. *grins* Yey!

Today was fun. AND funny! Every game's a comedy show when it comes to us! That's what makes playing so enjoyable. There is bound to be at least one blooper per game, always something to look forward to, something to get those abdominal muscles working as you laugh. Smiles are never ever absent from the court. Well, there was one exception. It was a game with the seniors from last year. Bad day + bad game= bad mood + bad appetite. It was a terribly rough game with the opponents really pushing you around, boxing out relentlessly. Intense. I guess that's the word to describe that game. I don't ever want to play something like that again though. That was no fun. Everyone was so serious, so feisty. At first I'd hear myself saying "Sorry." whenever I'd accidentally step on someone's foot or hit someone's hands. After the first few quarters, I had it. If they wanted to play rough, I was gonna give them a rough time too! *laughs* Don't think it worked well though. I felt so bad after that.

Anyway, as I was saying, today was fun! And all I can say is, ang galing talaga ng sophomores! *laughs* Self-flattery? Nope! I was talking about Team Chette with Alyana, Kri and Bea. Once our defense broke, they'd put in their shots for sure. It was a good thing our Great Wall defense didn't falter all too often. How can you break through the Nati, Jill and She defense? They're always all over the opponents.

I still laugh whenever I think about our team name. Doble sentido. Great Wall nga ba, o Great Wall? Hmm, makes me wonder. Who thought up that name in the first place? Team Great Wall. I think I better do some asking around.

when waiting means dying.

I got it all wrong when I thought that we females got the worse deal. Men got it worse. It took me a nice trip to the Emergency Room of a nearby hospital last Friday to figure that one out. After waiting 3 hours for a urinalysis and an ultrasound inspection, my brother was finally let go with nothing more than a prescription for over-the-counter painkillers. Had it not been for this scare, and everyone's fear that there would be no preceding Tanmantiong's to ever exist in this world and carry the name on, I would have been stuffing my face at Saisaki celebrating Jill's (and partly Nati's) birthday. I had not been to Saisaki in more than 5 years until last Friday. Still, the record stands that I have not eaten at Saisaki in more than 5 years and two days. I stayed just in time for Sam, RJ, Marts, Joe and Plep to arrive- and I was off for one of the longest nights of my life. All we did was wait. And a thought struck me as a woman who had a bruised eye and a bloody head was rolled in and not attended to until payment could be ensured from her companions. "I'm going to die before I get any medical help here."

I heard one of the attendants saying how "This is a private institution... bla bla blah." Cut to the chase and just tell the lady that her friend can't be helped if you don't have cash. This is a private institution, translation: Wala kaming paki basta may pera ka. Ouch. My brother, aunt and I were on the way out of the ER before the injured woman was finally admitted for a CT scan. And that's just for the scan. What if there had been internal bleeding all this time? Those 3 hours she waited, her life was ebbing away slowly like grains of sand through an hourglass. I was disgusted by the hospital system; shocked that humans who are supposedly our earthly saviors could possibly be so unfeeling towards those in need. Indirectly, it's as if they're saying that the rich deserve to live and that the less fortunate can be left to wilt. And they say they're "Number 1 in Patient Care." They're number one alright, number one with patients who don't care how much they spend on their Guccis and Ferragamos.

wasting away.

It's one of those nights. I'm here, wide awake again. Sometimes, I feel this incessant urge to keep my eyes open as random thoughts start fighting for attention. That's when I end up sitting on a chair, staring blankly into space, too focused on things going on inside my head to be conscious of the physical world. Where does all this thinking get me? Nowhere. Do I even remember what I think about when I wake up the next morning? No. Bah. Pointless waste of time.

excuse my french.

"When French people swear do they say: Pardon my English?"

Wala lang. Bored? You might want to check out www.goodquotes.com Some questions there just might get you thinking. My brain's been searing on the grill for too long a time. I've found happiness in reading all these trivial and sometimes nonsensical questions. Sorry, I guess that's what studying for a Theology long test and a French dialogue can do to me. Makes me go a bit bonkers.

Mind you, bonkers does not equal lovey-dovey. I had a momentary lapse at World Topps upon pondering the meaning of "I'll be your love suicide." (Eehh... Really, does that line make any sense to you? I still can't figure that one out.) But, I have not progressed exponentially to a state of lovey-doveyness. Ce n'est pas possible when I have to worry about how to schedule watching "The Notebook" with Nati in French! Adam and Eve will have to wait until tomorrow. God's 24-hour day doesn't seem to be quite enough for me today.

It's past 11. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

sleep vs. happiness

I stayed up and waited for the clock to strike midnight just so I could greet Nati on the dot. I don't usually stay up that late. In fact, I don't at all... unless I'm cramming for something major. If I still haven't done my Accounting homework, sleep. If I haven't read anything for Theo class, sleep. If there's a French quiz to study for that I haven't, *panic* and then sleep. Simply put, once the hour hand goes past eleven, my vocabulary is reduced to one word: sleep.

Last night was different though. And why not? It's Nati's birthday after all! So I happily stayed up while I tinkered around with Photoshop and wrote little notes to put along with our gift for her. Finally, the digital display on my Nike watch turned to 12:00 and I excitedly got my cellphone and typed in a birthday message. Then, I waited. One minute. Two minutes. Fifteen minutes.

Ayyy. Tulog na siya! I found out today that she hit the sack at 11. We switched bedtimes! It was so funny. Of all the times I decided to greet somebody, that person had to be asleep! So, the lesson for today is not to stay up until 12 when you had one sadistic afternoon of tennis training, just to greet your friend. *laughs then pauses* Nah. I would have done the same thing over again if I had to.

I would have done it all again for the satisfaction of seeing Nati happy. It's great seeing your friends so jolly (hehe). I keep flashing back to Cel's Energizer Bunny moment when she was so hyper over "Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang". You just can't help but smile along with them, get caught up in their infectious mood. And if their happiness means getting a free Starbucks frappucino along the way, then why not make them happy everyday? (Did i just rhyme?)

Cel and I couldn't help but share a laugh earlier when Nati exclaimed that she wanted to have an experience similar to the guys in "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". She was already wearing her new Chilly Papa jeans, but she had no idea that she had a whole new outfit already planned out for her today. We couldn't deliver on the interior design, but Jill did bake her a nice big fat cake! So, we covered a bit of ground. We'd definitely give Carson a run for his money though! (Wait, for his money? or for her money?) You'd never think that Jill put together that outfit in under 30 minutes. Now that's what we call a quick shopper!

"I'll never forget this."- Nati

One happy friend. Check! Now, all we have to do is take care of Jill's birthday present. Two more days to go! One more happy friend coming up!

for the girl who has everything.

Nati's birthday is in two days and I still have no idea what to get her. That strikes me as odd, considering we're practically joined at the hip. We've got all the same classes. We're always going to the same places. I even tag along when she does her weight training at Moro every Tuesday and Thursday! So, why does my mind come up blank whenever I try to think of a gift? Considering how much time I've spent with Nati in the past year and a half, I should have an idea, even the smallest inkling of what to give her. But nooo (said in true Jill fashion). I'm stumped. *crosses arms and pouts*

home alone.

This is what boredom does to you.

Muri was asking me if I knew any cool websites to look at since he was bored. I told him he should go to maron101.blogspot.com! *laughs* Everyday, I find myself going to Maron's blog and amusing myself with his funny, sometimes unusual, sometimes too dramatic take on things. The most prominent words on his blog right now are: career, nginig, and fight. Those three words could pretty much sum up his life right now, if his blog is to be believed.

Career- School. School. And more school. Against Maron's 89 Accounting test and his 91 Math long test, my 79's look pathetic. Good for him that he's keeping his eyes set on those A's and B+'s! I'd be lucky to get anywhere near those two marks.

Nginig- Would you believe that I don't know what this word means? Of course I know what it means literally, to shake. But then, that's not what Maron implies when he uses that word, right? I mean, what the hell does "Nanginig siya." mean? Kilig? Maybe. I'll keep that definition for now. Nginig= Kilig.

Fight- When it comes to love, you've got to fight all the way. At least that's what Maron says. In a perfect world, in a hopeful, optimistic and idealistic world that exists merely in the minds of the most hopeless romantics, "fighting" is what's expected. In the real world, where everything plain hurts, choosing this supposedly higher road is tough. Maron, you're one tough cookie.

It's on days like these when I realize that Kamiseta's absolutely right when they said, "It's fun being a girl." No worries about whether to fight or to turn your back. No worries about being publicly laglaged. Girls don't have to put their prides and egos on the line. At least not as often as guys. Still, there's always the downside. Aside from mother nature's gift (or curse), there's always that sense of being objectified. Is that even the right word? (Heck, is that even a word?)

What do I mean? Well, let's say a particularly arrogant and annoying SCI 10 classmate looks you up and down blatantly in broad daylight in front of your friends. Then he proceeds to tell his friend, "Girl ko yan." when you haven't even spoken a single word to this cheeky classmate in your life. One word: Bastos. I can take a certain level of hot air, I can take arrogance, but what I can never take is someone who has no respect.

Cara has been telling me all about what this guy's been saying for the past few weeks. Cara would always scold him, all in my behalf. At first, I'd laugh it off, thinking this is all a harmless joke. I thought maybe this dude's just a little bit bored, a little demented, and more or less, just KSP. I'd wave it all off with a laugh. I'd tell Ca that it's nothing. But after the SEC-A incident Jill told me about (I didn't even know he was there! Ha! You're invisible!), I don't know if I'd be able to take having him behind me during SCI 10 class. Why won't he stay put in his goddamn seat? Heeelllp...