last song syndrome

“Because you live, I live.”

It’s another cheesy line from another cheesy love song. After listening to Ryan Cabrera’s “True” at least twice a day for the past few weeks, I have grown a bit tired of it. So it’s time to replace it with another song that would service my LSS for the next few days or weeks. Jesse McCartney’s “Because You Live” is fast topping the “Most Played” smart-list on my IPod. The Aaron Carter look-alike coincidentally sounds like the big brother, Nick Carter, reminding me of my grade school teeny-bopper days with the matching choreographed dances to Backstreet Boys classics like “Quit Playing Games with My Heart.”

Ah yes, the good old days when we could just run through the playgrounds without a care save for the gasp-inducing 7/10 quiz. Nowadays, getting a 75 on an accounting test can merit joy. Yep, you can just see how my personal standards have gone down the drain over the years. Time and experience have funny ways of changing you. And I’m not just talking about contentment with regards to grades.

A lot about me has changed over the years, with each experience either putting up a new wall around my optimism or sanding down whatever wooden parts of my heart. On some days, I wonder why I react to certain things a certain way and yet come off completely contradictory when reacting to another similar situation. Sometimes, I wonder why I never got around to writing stories the way I’ve been wanting to since Grade 5. Sometimes, I wonder why I’m taking up Management Engineering in Ateneo and enduring all these long nights for a CPI that does not even reach the much-coveted 3.35 mark. Sometimes, I wonder why I never found the courage to pack my bags and try out university life in the States, why I never got the nerves to pass a college application someplace else. And always, I wonder why all I do is sit here and ponder when I should be out there trying to get back on the track of my dreams.

fashion dilemma: go for rock chic

My head hurts. I have no idea why. I got a decent amount of sleep last night. My day at school wasn't particularly hectic either. So, what gives?

Anyway, I just wrapped up my Filipino reflection paper on the play we watched two Fridays ago. If I get another D on this one I am going to cry. I think I did a better job on this one. Plus, this one's packed with nicely-put bull. But, bull works. At least most of the time! *laughs* Give me a B and I'll rejoice to the heavens above! I've exhausted all the possible symbolisms for the first of the three performances. Please don't let Ms. Bellen write another comment that says I did nothing more than state the postcolonial characteristics. I think I've gone beyond just stating the obvious now. I think.

It was amusing to see the number of people walking around schools with flowers or balloons in hand today. I don't think I've ever noticed that before. Last year, I was too much of a cynic to notice, or even care. This year, I don't know.

Choosing my outfit today was an experience in itself. Char told us that we had to wear something yellow for MEAMore week. So this morning, I opened my cabinet door on the prowl for a yellow shirt. I was faced with three choices. A shirt that said "Done with Love," another that screamed "Single," and another that merely said "Rock Chic". The choice was obvious. I went for the last one. Valentine's Day is not exactly the day for wearing statement shirts! Goodness, I wouldn't want to break everyone's bubbles by coming off as this bitter girl donning either of the two other shirts. *laughs*

just bored.

I stayed home today so I could get started on the History readings we need to have taken to heart by Wednesday. So far, I've only read one article out of the four assigned to us. I'm not going anywhere. And I don't mean that just figuratively. Looks like I'm going to be stuck here at home tonight. I don't believe I've had this much alone time since my high school days. I don't know if I miss it or I dread it. I do need the time to think and unwind, but sometimes, the silence and all the thinking can make you go mad. My sleepyhead tendencies are acting up again too. This is baaaad. I am bored out of my wits.

Oh wow! I just saw my mom's dress, designed as always by Nono Palmos. It's a Filipiniana-inspired dress with a modern twist, lots of sparkly beading on the hand-painted yellow pinya cloth. (At least I think it's pinya, there's a term for it, I just can't remember it at the moment). It's so pweeety! I wouldn't mind wearing it. I wonder if my mom would allow me to try it on later. *hehehe*

telenovela addiction.

I'm watching "Save The Last Dance For Me" now on TV. Looks like I'm going to have another show to catch every day! I like this far better than "Lovers in Paris," at least from what I'm seeing so far. It's not dragging at all. And this Francis/Adrian guy is way cuter than either Carlo or Martin! *laughs* Oh my, "Till Death Do Us Part" looks interesting too! Oh no! I'm going to be a TV addict at this rate! Hmm... Diether's hair looks pretty funny... Okay, not just pretty funny, really funny! I liked him so much better back in his Gimik days with G. Toengi. And I just realized something, Dominic Ochoa always plays the martyr guy who gets replaced with another guy. Think, "Got to Believe" and now this!

Oooohhh... This is interesting. "Sino ba ang pipiliin mo? Si hospital o si funeraria?" *laughs* My goodness, I can't believe Kristine Hermosa's lola asked her to choose between the two guys in front of both of them! Nightmaaaare! *laughs* Oooh! I just spotted Chinie on the Johnson's Pure Essentials Face Powder commercial with Shaina Magdayao! Wala lang. :D Okay, I'm babbling yet again. I think I better stop with all this telenovela talk.

verbal omelette.

Verbal omelette (definition): A dish consisting of beaten thoughts and ideas cooked until set and folded over, often around a filling. Served verbally.

It's lovey-dovey hour! Yes, this line is going to sound cheesy, but I just couldn't resist plucking it out of a Ryan Cabrera song... "If I'm blind now, and all this was a dream, at least the dream was about you." Doesn't it sound like a line right out of a telenovela complete with sad watery puppy eyes and a mellow piano ensemble? I can just imagine how it might play out! *laughs* Anyway, don't think that the resident, self-proclaimed boy-hater (who does break occassionally, particularly when a 6'3" basketball player with the same jersey number as yours truly passes along SEC walk), has turned over a new leaf and has gone to the dark side! I'm still Ms. Optimistic-About-Everything-Except-Love.

Ooohh... I just recently discovered the wonders of photobucket.com!



That's a picture of us last Sunday at Rizal Racket after the awarding. Happy looking bunch of people, eh? *laughs* I like how this picture turned out. It looks au naturelle. Candid. Real. Saturated with the very essence of life. Wheh? You probably get my drift! Forgive me. I'm a little out of it today. I don't know if it's the lack of sleep or just the whole "hell semester" getting the best of me. Still, I was pretty happy when Sir Darwin discussed the answers to our Accounting long test today. Wheeee! I just might make it over 85! Yipeee, what luck! What joy! I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that my makeshift algebraic proof would merit the full 12 points. If not, well, tough luck but I'm still happy! *big grin*